Black Swan

 

Produced by Pdogg
Written by Pdogg, RM, August Rigo, Vince Nantes, Clyde Kelly

Spotify | Apple Music

Translation of the press release (technically speaking, translation of the description of the single on Korean streaming sites):

In ‘Black Swan,’ BTS steps into the deep, inner side of the self and faces the shadow it has been hiding as an artist. It is the confession of BTS as an artist, who grew up to a global superstar.
“A dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.” – Martha Graham. Black Swan is created with dancer Marth Graham’s quote as a motif. Like a dancer faces their first death when they stop dancing, the track contains the fear of the moment where BTS is no longer able to perform on the stage as an artist. Through Black Swan, the members of BTS express that, as they continue to do music more and more, they will face their first death as well if the music fails to touch their hearts or to make them excited.
But every time such a moment happens, ‘I’ hear another voice of mine from deep inside, ‘I’ face the Black Swan in me, and, ironically, ‘I’ come to a realization that music is the only thing ‘I’ have. Through the mature, self-reflecting lyrics, BTS conveys its confession as an artist who learned what music means to self.

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Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

What’s my thang

What’s my thang tell me now

Tell me now

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Ayy

 

심장이 뛰지 않는대
The heart does not beat

더는 음악을 들을 때
anymore, when listening to music
Note: By saying 않는대, instead of 않는데, SUGA means to say that he “heard” (1) from someone else his heart does not beat or (2) about someone else whose heart does not beat. This is different from him coming to a realization, by himself, that his heart no longer beats anymore when listening to music. Based on the following lines, I read it as (1) where he is told that his heart does not beat anymore.

Tryna pull up

시간이 멈춘 듯해
It feels like time has stopped

Oh that would be my first death

I been always afraid of

 

이게 나를 더 못 울린다면
If this can no longer make me cry
Alternatively, it could also be interpreted as “If this can no longer resonate with me”

내 가슴을 더 떨리게 못 한다면
If this can no longer make my heart flutter

어쩜 이렇게 한 번 죽겠지 아마
Perhaps, this will be how I die once
“A dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.”

But what if that moment’s right now

Right now

 

귓가엔 느린 심장 소리만 Bump bump bump
In my ears are only slow heartbeats, bump bump bump

벗어날래도 그 입속으로 Jump jump jump
I try to escape, but into the maw, jump jump jump

어떤 노래도 와닿지 못해
No song can reach me anymore

소리 없는 소릴 질러
I cry out a silent cry

 

모든 빛이 침묵하는 바다 Yeah yeah yeah
Sea where all light sinks into silence, yeah yeah yeah
Note: In Sea, a hidden track of LOVE YOURSELF: Her, BTS sings about how the sea it has dreamed of is actually another desert. Sinking to the bottom of the sea with no light, they face their shadow.

길 잃은 내 발목을 또 잡아 Yeah yeah yeah
It again seizes my ankle that lost the path, yeah yeah yeah
Note: Path is another hidden track of their discography (2 Cool 4 Skool; BTS’ debut single album), where they talk about their path as artists at the onset of their career. In Black Swan, it is the fear of losing the pure passion and love for music that makes them feel lost (in the first half the song) and stand back up again (in the second half of the song).

어떤 소리도 들리지 않아 Yeah yeah yeah
No sound can reach me, yeah yeah yeah

Killin’ me now

Killin’ me now

Do you hear me yeah

 

홀린 듯 천천히 가라앉아 Nah nah nah
As if I’m bewitched, I slowly sink down, nah nah nah

몸부림쳐봐도 사방이 바닥 Nah nah
Though I try struggling, I’m at the bottom of the sea, nah nah
A more literal translation would be “Though I try struggling, the surrounding is the bottom/floor.”

모든 순간들이 영원이 돼 Yeah yeah yeah
Every moment becomes eternity, yeah yeah yeah 

Film it now

Film it now
Note: Every moment, even the moment where they struggle at the bottom of the sea, becomes eternity because it is filmed. This reminded me of the scene where people were holding their phones up to take pictures of SUGA in Interlude : Shadow and concept photos (S version) of LOVE YOURSELF: Answer

Do you hear me yeah

 

Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

What’s my thang

What’s my thang tell me now

Tell me now

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

 

Note: The below verse signals the transition to the second part of the song. In the art film, the main dancer finally escapes the cage surrounded by lasers by the end of this verse that ends with “At the deepest, I was myself.”

Deeper

Yeah I think I’m goin’ deeper

자꾸 초점을 잃어
I keep losing focus

이젠 놓아줘 싫어
Now let go of me, I hate this

차라리 내 발로 갈게
I’d rather go on my own feet

내가 뛰어들어갈게
I’ll jump into it

가장 깊은 곳에서
At the deepest,

나는 날 봤어
I saw myself

 

천천히 난 눈을 떠
Slowly, I open my eyes

여긴 나의 작업실 내 스튜디오
This is my workroom, my studio

거센 파도 깜깜하게 나를 스쳐도
Even if harsh waves brush against me in the darkness,

절대 끌려가지 않을 거야 다시 또
I will never get dragged away again

Inside

I saw myself myself

 

Note: Notice how the below verse contrasts with a previous verse: “In my ears are only slow heartbeats, bump bump bump / I try to escape, but into the maw, jump jump jump / No song can reach me anymore / I cry out a silent cry.”

귓가엔 빠른 심장 소리만 Bump bump bump
In my ears are only fast heartbeats, bump bump bump

두 눈을 뜨고 나의 숲으로 Jump jump jump
With my eyes open, into my forest, jump jump jump
In Butterfly, “My Kafka on the shore, please don’t go to the forest over there”
In FAKE LOVE, “A forest of just us, you were not there. I forgot the route that I came along.”
Note: In Kafka on the Shore (Haruki Murakami; RM is a known fan of Murakami), the forest is a kind of labyrinth that represents the understanding of the self.

그 무엇도 날 삼킬 수 없어
Nothing can swallow me
In The Last, “The greed that used to be my weapon now swallows me, ruins me, and puts a leash around my neck.”
In Interlude : Shadow, “People say, in that bright light, it’s splendor / But my shadow rather grows even bigger, swallows me, and  becomes a monster.”

힘껏 나는 소리 질러
I cry out with all my strength
Note: This is also when, in the art film, the main dancer frees himself from the other dancers, who represent his shadow.

 

모든 빛이 침묵하는 바다 Yeah yeah yeah
Sea where all light sinks into silence, yeah yeah yeah

길 잃은 내 발목을 또 잡아 Yeah yeah yeah
It again seizes my ankle that lost the path, yeah yeah yeah

어떤 소리도 들리지 않아 Yeah yeah yeah
No sound can reach me, yeah yeah yeah

Killin’ me now

Killin’ me now

Do you hear me yeah

 

홀린 듯 천천히 가라앉아 Nah nah nah
As if I’m bewitched, I slowly sink down, nah nah nah

몸부림쳐봐도 사방이 바닥 Nah nah
Though I try struggling, I’m at the bottom of the sea, nah nah

모든 순간들이 영원이 돼 Yeah yeah yeah
Every moment becomes eternity, yeah yeah yeah 

Film it now

Film it now

Do you hear me yeah

 

Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

Do your thang

Do your thang with me now

What’s my thang

What’s my thang tell me now

Tell me now

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

 

Note: At the end of the art film, the shadow (the six dancers in black costumes) that had the main dancer confined in the first half transforms itself into a force that sets the dancer free by pushing him to the sky and helping him fly. Going back to the message of the lyrics, this represents that it is only after experiencing the fear of losing the love for music and facing the shadow as an artist that the artist can realize the depth of his love for music and stand up again.

 

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Interlude : Shadow

 

Original lyrics are transcribed.

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I wanna be a rap star

I wanna be the top

I wanna be a rock star

I want it all mine

I wanna be rich

I wanna be the king

I wanna go win

I wanna be

 

I wanna be a rap star

I wanna be the top

I wanna be a rock star

I want it all mine

I wanna be rich

I wanna be the king

I wanna be me

I want a big thing

Oh boy let me see

I got a big dream yeah

 

Woo 매일 설렜지 내가 어디까지 갈지
Woo, every day, I was excited about how far I’d go

정신없이 달리다보니 어느새 여기까지 왔지
I was running frantically and somehow reached here

Yeah 음 발밑의 그림자
Yeah, hmm, the shadow at my feet

고개 숙여보니 더 커졌잖아
Looking down, it’s gotten even bigger

도망쳐봤자 날 따라오는
Even if I run away, following me is

저 빛과 비례하는 내 그림자
my shadow that gets darker as that light gets brighter
A direct translation is “my shadow that is proportional to that light.”

 

Woo 두려워
Woo, I’m afraid

높게 나는 게 난 무섭지
I’m scared of flying high

아무도 말 안해줬잖아
No one told me

여기가 얼마나 외로운지 말야
how lonely it is here

나의 도약은 추락이 될 수 있단 걸
That my leap can be my fall
SUGA has been using this metaphor frequently, most recently in SUGA’s Interlude.

이제야 알겠어
Now I know

때론 도망이 차선이란 걸
that sometimes running away is the second best

 

사람들은 뭐 말하지 저 빛 속은 찬란하네
People say, in that bright light, it’s splendor

근데 내 그림자는 되려 더 커져
But my shadow rather grows even bigger,

나를 삼켜 괴물이 돼
swallows me, and becomes a monster
The above three lines remind me of the lyrics of The Last where he raps: “
The monster, my success earned at the cost of my youth, wants greater wealth. The greed that used to be my weapon now swallows me, ruins me, and puts a leash around my neck.”

저 위로 위로 또 위로 위로만 가다보니
Going higher, higher, and only higher, higher,

여긴 어지러워
it makes me dizzy

더 위로위로만 가네
Going only higher, higher

싫어
I hate it

나 무사하길 빌어 빌어
I pray, pray that I will be okay

 

나의 바람대로 높게 날고있는 순간
The moment I’m flying high as I wished,

저 내려쬐는 빛에 더 커진 그림자
my shadow grows larger, beat down upon by that light

Please don’t let me shine

Don’t let me down

Don’t let me fly

이제는 두려워
Now I’m afraid

 

가장 밑바닥의 나를 마주하는 순간
The moment that I face myself at the lowest,

공교롭게도 여긴 창공이잖아
it happens to be that I’m high up in the blue, cloudless sky
Sidenote: 공교롭게도 often has a negative connotation. Given the context, it should read as something similar to “ironically, I’m up in the blue, cloudless sky.”

Please don’t let me shine

Don’t let me down

Don’t let me fly

이제는 무서워
Now I’m scared

Don’t let me shine

 

I wanna be a rap star

I wanna be the top

I wanna be a rock star

I want it all mine

I wanna be rich

I wanna be the king

I wanna go win

I wanna be

 

I wanna be a rap star

I wanna be the top

I wanna be a rock star

I want it all mine

I wanna be rich

I wanna be the king

I wanna be me

I wanna be

 

그래 나는 너고 너는 나야 이젠 알겠니
Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you get it now?

그래 너는 나고 나는 너야 이젠 알겠지
Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, you get it now, right?

우린 한 몸이고 또 때론 부딪치겠지
We’re one body, and sometimes we will crash

너는 절대 나를 떼어낼 수 없어 알겠지
You will never be able to take me off of you, you get it, right?

Yeah yeah 떼어낼 수 없어 니가 뭐를 하든지
Yeah yeah, you can’t take me off of you, whatever you do

Yeah 인정하는 게 더 편안하겠지
Yeah, you’ll be more at ease if you accept it

Yeah 성공 혹은 실패 어디 있든지
Yeah, success or failure, wherever you are

Yeah 도망칠 수 없어 어딜 가든지
Yeah, you can’t escape, wherever you go
SUGA’s lines from Outro: Tear: “This is real you, and this is real me. I’ve now seen the end, and even my resentment doesn’t remain. I woke up from my sweet dream and close my eyes. This is real you, and this is real me.” 
In addition to the pure lyrical similarities, I believe the underlying meanings are also valid across the two. The distinction between “I” and “you” is very vague in almost all LOVE YOURSELF era tracks (it’s very obvious that “I = you” in some tracks). In Intro : Shadow, “you” are “my shadow” (or the other way around; the shadow might be the speaker), which is a part of “I.”
The whole acceptance of his shadow as a part of him (or him as a whole) also reminds me of Carl Jung’s words: “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

 

나는 너고 너는 나야 알겠니
I’m you and you’re me, do you get it?

너는 나고 나는 너야 알겠니
You’re me and I’m you, do you get it?

우린 한 몸이고 부딪치겠지
We’re one body and we’ll crash

우린 너고 우린 나야 알겠니
We’re you and we’re me, do you get it?

 

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BTS – Heartbeat (BTS WORLD OST)

Produced by DJ Swivel
Written by j-hope, RM, Coyle Girelli, DJ Swivel

Spotify | Apple Music

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It leaves me feeling seasick baby

꿈같은 현실 깊이 갇혔나 봐
It feels like I’m trapped in a dream-like reality

It spins me round and drives me crazy

한낮에 뜬 달 같은 나인가 봐
I must be like a moon hanging in the sky at midday

만약 나 혼자였다면 혹시 널 몰랐다면
If I had been alone, if I had not known you

포기했을지 몰라 lost at sea
I might have given up, lost at sea

But my heart’s still on fire with a burning desire

다시 널 찾을 거야 운명처럼
I’ll find you again, like fate

 

I wish that you would love me

어제처럼 다시 이 손 놓지 말고
Don’t ever let go of this hand like yesterday

And every time my heart beats,

발 맞춰봐 다시 더는 헤매이지 않도록
step to my heartbeat so you never get lost and wander again

운명을 느껴 널 널
I feel the fate, you, you

운명을 느껴 날 날
I feel the fate, me, me

 

When you hear my heartbeat baby

You gave me a new life you gave me a new birth

I feel you’re heartbeat away

I been losin my mind I been cravin my shine

I know me before you was a ready-made me

But you designate me and you did resume me

Been calling your name in this whole universe

(Now I need no space) I got youniverse

널 만난 건 이 우주가 빚어낸 한편의 드라마 같아
Meeting you feels like an episode of a drama crafted by the universe

수많았던 헤매임 끝이 보이지가 않던 방황
Countless wanderings
Being lost, unable to see the end

그 미로 속에서 나를 이끌어준 너
You, who led me through that maze

너는 나의 빛이자 나의 구원
You are my light, my savior

이 비도 그쳐가네 이젠 네 손을 놓지 않을래
This rain, too, is coming to an end
I won’t let go of your hand anymore

 

I wish that you would love me

어제처럼 다시 이 손 놓지 말고
Don’t ever let go of this hand like yesterday

And every time my heart beats,

발 맞춰봐 다시 더는 헤매이지 않도록
step to my heartbeat so you never get lost and wander again

운명을 느껴 널 널
I feel the fate, you, you

운명을 느껴 날 날
I feel the fate, me, me

운명을 느껴 널 널
I feel the fate, you, you

운명을 느껴 날 날
I feel the fate, me, me

 

My heart’s on fire for your love

Oh my heart’s on fire for your love

 

I wish that you would love me

어제처럼 다시 이 손 놓지 말고
Don’t ever let go of this hand like yesterday

And every time my heart beats,

발 맞춰봐 다시 더는 헤매이지 않도록
step to my heartbeat so you never get lost and wander again

운명을 느껴 널 널
I feel the fate, you, you

운명을 느껴 날 날
I feel the fate, me, me

운명을 느껴 널 널
I feel the fate, you, you

운명을 느껴 날 날
I feel the fate, me, me

 

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Halsey – SUGA’s Interlude

 

Produced by Lido, Pdogg, SUGA
Written by Ashley Frangipane, Min Yoongi, Peter Losnegård

Spotify | Apple Music

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[Halsey]

I’ve been trying all my life

To separate the time

In between the having it all

And giving it up, yeah

 

[SUGA]

Ey, 내 머릿속엔 파란색만 가득한 이 방황
Ey, in my head, these wanderings that are only full of blue

자기혐오들과 자만이 내 마음속에 살아
In my mind, living are the self-loathing and excessive pride

꿈이 가득한 난 자라 모든 꿈을 이뤘건만
I, full of dreams, grew up to have all my dreams realized but, 

꿈은 꿈으로만 간직하는 게 더 낫지라는 생각을 동시에 하며 살아가고 있지
at the same time, am living with a thought that dreams are better when kept as dreams

내 도약은 추락이 아니기를 [churagi anigireul]
That my leap would not be my fall,

너의 신념 노력 믿음 욕심들은 추악이 아님임을 [chuagi animimeul]
that your convictions, efforts, beliefs, and greeds are not ugly nor dirty,

믿어 ey
I believe, ey

해가 뜨기 전 새벽은 무엇보다 어둡지만
Though the dawn right before the sunrise is darker than anything,

네가 바란 별들은 어둠 속에서만 뜬다는 걸 절대 잊지 마
never forget that the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness

 

[Halsey]

I’ve been trying all my life

To separate the time

In between the having it all

And giving it up, yeah

 

I wonder what’s in store

If I don’t love it anymore 

Stuck between the having it all

And giving it up, yeah

[SUGA]

가끔은 내가 걷고 있는 게 맞는지
Sometimes I wonder if I’m walking on the right path, 

하염없이 터널 끝을 향해 달리면 뭐가 또 있을런지
what else will be there if I run unceasingly towards the end of the tunnel, 

맞긴 한지
and if it is right to do so in the first place

내가 바라던 미래와는 솔직히 다른 거지
Honestly, it’s different from the future I hoped for,

상관없지
but that doesn’t matter

이제는 생존의 문제 어찌 됐든 상관없지 yeah, yeah
Now it’s the matter of survival — however it is, that doesn’t matter, yeah, yeah

네가 바란 것들과는 다를지 몰라 (몰라)
Things might be different from what you wanted (they might)

네가 살아가는 [saraganeun] 것도 사랑하는 [saranghaneun] 것도 변할지 몰라 (몰라)
How you live as well as what you love might change (they might)

That’s true (That’s true, that’s true)

(Yeah) Yeah, so, are you gonna move?

꾸물거리기엔 우린 아직 젊고 어려 부딪혀보자고
We’re too young to drag our feet, so let’s try crashing into it

So what you gonna do?

[Halsey]

I’ve been trying all my life

To separate the time

In between the having it all

And giving it up, yeah

 

I wonder what’s in store

If I don’t love it anymore 

Stuck between the having it all

And giving it up, yeah

 

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YOUNHA – WINTER FLOWER (Feat. RM)

 

Lyrics by YOUNHA, RM, Eden
Composed by Eden, Ollounder, LEEZ
Arranged by  Ollounder, Eden, LEEZ

Spotify | Apple Music

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[YOUNHA]

시린 겨울바람 깊은 발자국 아래 홀로 피어나
In the chilling winter wind, under the deep footprints, I bloom alone

내가 태어나고 널 만난 이유를 찾아서 헤매어
and wander, searching for the reasons why I was born and why I met you

 

하얗게 번지는 한숨은 얼어붙은 눈물
The sigh that scatters, white, is my tears, frozen

버려진 꿈들은 다른 상처를 낳고
The abandoned dreams bear another scar

이 계절의 끝이 어딜까
Where would the end of this season be

영원이 있다면
If there is an eternity,

Hold on hold on hold on

 

I will take it away before you stumble

I will stay by your side until you survive,

피어나 주기를
hoping you would bloom

 

[RM]

난 왜 널 만난 걸까
Why is it that I met you —

하필 바로 지금 여기 이 겨울날
of all days and all places, right now, right here, on this winter day,

눈 감으면 봄은 아득하고
when spring feels far away when I close my eyes

여긴 찬 숨만 가득한데
and where it’s full of cold breaths

모진 겨울 네가 흘렸던 피에서 빨갛게 나는 태어났지
I was born red, from the blood you shed in the harsh winter

설중매, 동백, 수선화
Plum blossom in the snow, camelia, daffodil
설중매 (雪中梅), which is the subtitle of WINTER FLOWER, means plum blossoms in the snow. 동백 (冬柏, where means winter; camilia) blooms in winter, between January and March. 수선화 (水仙花; daffodil) also has a high tolerance to cold and bloom between December and March. 수선화 is also called 설중화 (雪中花, flower in the snow).
The three flowers, which bloom despite the harsh weather or after enduring a long winter, all represent noble minds, strong spirits, and pure heart.

그래 날 뭐라고 불러도 좋아
Yeah, I’m okay with whatever you call me

They say life is full of paradox

All you gotta do is gettin’ used to this marathon

세상은 너에게만 모질까?
Would it be that the world is cruel only to you?

‘누구나 힘들다’
‘It is hard for anyone’

어른이 된 네게 그 말은 못 되네 위로가
To you, who has become an adult, such words cannot be a consolation

똑바로 들어 겨울아
Listen well, winter

네가 날 피운 거야
It is you who bloomed me

나 이제 내 가지로 파란 향을 피울 거야
Now, with my branches, I will emanate a blue scent

내가 알려줄게
I will let you know 

다른 하늘이 있음을
that there is another sky

힘껏 불러올게
With all my strength, I will call it in —

너를 닮았던 가을을
the autumn that resembled you

 

[YOUNHA]

하얗게 번지는 불빛은 얼어붙은 태양
The light that scatters, white, is the sun, frozen

가려진 달처럼 아직 존재해도
Even if it still exists, like the covered moon

기다림에 끝은 어딜까
Where would the end of this waiting be

시작이 있다면
If there is a beginning,

Hold on hold on hold on

 

I will take it away before you stumble

I will stay by your side until you survive,

피어나 주기를
hoping you would bloom

 

네 온기 잊지 않아
I will not forget your warmth

 

겨울의 꽃이 되어 춤추는 별이 되어
I will be a flower of the winter, a dancing star, and

I will be by your side

I’m with you

 

I will take it away before you stumble

I will stay by your side until you survive

피어나길 바래
I hope you bloom

피어나길 바래
I hope you bloom

피어나길 바래
I hope you bloom

피어나길 바래
I hope you bloom

피어나길 바래
I hope you bloom

 

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So 4 More

 

SoundCloud

Original Track: Pro Era – Like Water
Lyric by Rap Monster, SUGA & j-hope
Beat Remake by Slow Rabbit
Melody by Slow Rabbit & Supreme boi
Mixed, Mastered by Yang Ga @ BIG HIT STUDIO

This track was released on June 13, 2014. celebrating BTS’ debut anniversary.

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일 년이 가고
Even when a year passes

일 년이 와도
and even when another year comes,

너와 난 같은 이 선율 위를 또 걷겠지
you and I will be walking on the same melody again

이 밤이 와도
Even when the night comes

이 밤이 가도
and even when it passes,

더 나은 삶을 위한 연주는 계속되겠지
our performance for a better life will continue

 

I don’t wanna fuckin’ lie 그딴 짓 안 해
I don’t wanna fuckin’ lie, I don’t do such thing

꿈은 서울 타워 위에, 마음은 반지하에
My dream is above Seoul Tower, my mind is under the ground floor

삶의 인질이 되었으니 야망을 선택했지
Having become a hostage to life, I chose to be ambitious

방황은 내 취미 막막해 매일이
To get lost and wander is my hobby, every day I feel clueless and overwhelmed

집세처럼 매달 내야 할 외로움이 밀렸어
Like monthly rents, my loneliness is overdue
Here, 밀리다 can describe something that is (1) overdue or (2) piled up. “Like how monthly rents get behind schedule, my loneliness has been piled up.” 

외로움의 반대말을 안다면 좀 빌려줘
If you know the antonym of loneliness, lend me some
In “Life“, a year after the release of this song, RM still wonders why there is no antonym for loneliness.

내가 소속된 곳은 많아
There are many places where I belong

근데 왜 어디서도 진짜 날 찾을 순 없는 걸까나
But why is it that I can’t find the real me anywhere

Who knows? You know? you don’t. I know I don’t

일 년짼데도 적응이 안돼 봐도 봐도
It’s been already a year, but I can’t get used to it no matter how many time I try

매일 밤 거울 앞에서 입가를 만지며 확인하지
Every night, standing in front of a mirror and touching the side of my lips, I ask myself,  

‘니가 그간 알던 김남준이 맞긴 하니?’
“Are you really the Kim Namjoon that you’ve known?”
In “Intro: Persona,” 5 years after the release of this song, RM is still in search of himself.

그냥 좀 내려놔야겠어
I should probably just lay it all down —

고민과 성찰, 번뇌, 두려움, 리더로서의 책임감까지도
all my agony, introspection, fear, and even the responsibility as a leader

다 알고 있으면서 놓지 못하는 것들
Things that I know so well but can never put down,

삶의 어쩔 수 없는 벗들. you know what?
the unavoidable friends of my life, you know what?

꼭 빨라야만 랩이 아니듯이 인생 역시도 그래
Rap doesn’t have to be fast to be rap, and the same goes with life

우리 모두 때론 물에 기름을 붓지
We all pour oil into water sometimes

목표, 성공, 꿈이란 산들이 왜 더 가까워지지 않을까
Wondering why the mountains that are my goals, success, and dreams, won’t get close to me,

땀나게 뛰어봐도 물은 불이 되지가 않아서 조급했지
I was feeling impatient because the water won’t turn into fire even though I tried so hard 

물과 기름, 절대 섞이지 않아
Water and oil, they will never mix

과학책에서 봤듯이
like you’ve seen in the science textbook

변치 않을 것 같다가 이제야 시작해
It looked like it would never change, but now things have started

끓어오른 나를 봐봐
Look at me who came to boil

곧 불이 되겠지
Soon I’ll become a fire

그리곤 타올라
and burn with flames

 

일 년이 가고
Even when a year passes

일 년이 와도
and even when another year comes,

너와 난 같은 이 선율 위를 또 걷겠지
you and I will be walking on the same melody again

이 밤이 와도
Even when the night comes

이 밤이 가도
and even when it passes,

더 나은 삶을 위한 연주는 계속되겠지
our performance for a better life will continue

 

안정의 공간 하나 없었던 일 년은 살얼음판
A year without any space of comfort, I was walking on thin ice

어디로 가는지 난 몰라
I don’t know where I’m going

감정의 공방
The conflict of my emotions

깊은 한숨은 어제가 되었지만
Though my deep sigh now belongs to yesterday

여전히 밤이 돼도 못 자
I still can’t sleep even at night

예견된 혼란
A confusion that was expected

여전히 잠 못드는 밤
Sleepless nights continue

시기와 질투 경쟁이란 감옥은
A prison that is envy, jealousy, and competition

날 수시로 옥죄고 숨통을 막아
oppresses and suffocates me frequently

내 미래는 수묵화 [sumukhwa]
My future is like an ink-wash painting
(= My future is blurry)

머릿속에 수북한 [subukhan] 성공이란 단어 두 글자
The two-letter word, success, that fills my mind

내가 해야할 일과 또 내가 하고 싶은 일
Things I have to do and things and I want to do

그 사이 선 걸리버
I’m Gulliver, standing in between the two

Fuck it, I don’t give a shit

지금 난 꿈을 이룬 건지 [kkoomeul irun geonji] 아님 꿈을 잃은 건지 [kkoomeul ireun geonji]
Have I achieved my dream or lost my dream?

아직 잘 모르겠어 내가 성공의 꿈을 미룬 건지
I still don’t know, have I put off my dream of success?

바보처럼 짓는 웃음 뒤엔 정확히 반쯤 [banjjeum] 울고 있어
Behind the smile I put up like a fool, exactly a half of me is crying 

이건 정체성에 대한 나의 방증 [bangjeung]
This is the evidence of (my confusion about) my identity

현실과 이상은 차츰 무뎌져 터지는 가슴 [gaseum]
Reality and ideal, I get numb gradually and frustrated

음악적 갈증과 갈등 사이에 커지는 한숨 [hansoom]
My sigh grows bigger from the thirst for and the conflicts about music

 

일 년이 가고
Even when a year passes

일 년이 와도
and even when another year comes,

너와 난 같은 이 선율 위를 또 걷겠지
you and I will be walking on the same melody again

이 밤이 와도
Even when the night comes

이 밤이 가도
and even when it passes,

더 나은 삶을 위한 연주는 계속되겠지
our performance for a better life will continue

 

느껴지는 time over, 삶에 젖어 몰랐지
The “time over” that I can feel — occupied with life, I didn’t realize

내 일년의 걸음
The steps I took for one year

해 뜰 땐 i’m ill, 밤엔 또 가살 적어
I’m ill when the sun goes up, and, at night, I write lyrics again

매일 살아 난 live같은 life, 립싱크는 없어
I live every day, my life is like a live performance, there is no lip-sync

이 노력과 함께 시작의 문을 열어
With this effort, I open the door of my beginning

흘리는 피땀만큼 설 무대는 점점 커져
The more I sweat, the bigger my stage gets

함성과 박수갈채, 내겐 선물같은 성원
Cheers and applause, the support feels like a gift to me 

관심이 번질 즈음 내 눈물은 이미 번져
As more attention is drawn, my eyes already get teary

따라오는 부담과 큰 걱정
Pressure and big worries accompany 

내가 받은 사랑만큼 내 어깬 무거워졌어
I feel burdened by the amount of love I received

So 매일 떨려
So, I’m nervous every day

감은 좋은데, 떫어
I have a good sense, but it’s not mature yet
감 can be (1) a feeling/sense (感) or (2) a persimmon. “The feeling is good, but it is bitter (unripe).” SUGA once made a pun with 감 as well.

이런 날 다림질해봐 구겨진 맘을 펴 날 rewind
I try ironing myself, smoothing out my wrinkled mind, rewinding myself

어떤 비바람이 와도 방탄이 날 위안 [wian]
No matter how stormy it gets, Bangtan comforts me

이 걸음걸이는 성공의 길 wanna be now
My steps will take me to success, wanna be now

그래 난 시리우스, 어떤 별보다도 빛나
Yeah, I’m Sirius, shining brighter than all other stars

이 순간 여전히 난 ‘born signer’ 마이클 쥔다
At this moment, I’m still a ‘born singer,’ I hold my mic

 

일 년이 가고
Even when a year passes

일 년이 와도
and even when another year comes,

너와 난 같은 이 선율 위를 또 걷겠지
you and I will be walking on the same melody again

이 밤이 와도
Even when the night comes

이 밤이 가도
and even when it passes,

더 나은 삶을 위한 연주는 계속되겠지
our performance for a better life will continue

 

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이 밤 (Tonight)

 

Produced by Slow Rabbit
Written by Slow Rabbit, Jin, Hiss Noise, RM

This track was released as a part of 2019 FESTA.

Jin’s note with translation:
안녕하세요 진입니다
Hello, it is Jin.
제 반려동물들을 생각하며 쓴 노래입니다.
This is a song that I wrote while thinking about my pets.
첫 자작곡인데 잘 들어주셨으면 좋겠습니다.
Though this is my first self-written song, I hope you like it.
다음에 또 열심히 작업해서 좋은 노래 들려드릴게요. 고맙습니다 아미.
I’ll work hard again next time and give you a good song. Thank you, ARMY.

 

Note: Jin’s family dog Jjanggu (who was a stray dog before spending his last 12 years with Jin and Jin’s family) passed away in 2017, followed by the deaths of Eomuk and Odeng, his sugar gliders, in 2018 and 2019.
Side note: Pets in Korean used to be 애완동물, which technically means animals that are lovable toys when broken into individual letters. Nowadays, more and more people (including Jin, obviously) call pets 반려동물, which means companion animals (not to be confused with service/support animals), to acknowledge that they are life companions.

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이 밤이 지나면
When tonight passes,

널 볼 수 없을까봐 두려워
I’m scared that I might not be able to see you 

 

한없이 투명한 그 눈빛도
The eyes that are ever so pure and clear,

너무 익숙해진 그 촉감도
the touch that I have become so used to,

나를 보며 웃었던 얼굴도 이제
the face that used to look at me and smile — Now,

이제 너를 다시 볼 수 없을까
now, will I no longer be able to see you again?

 

나의 하루하루에
In every day of mine,

니가 있고
you are there

너의 하루하루에
In every day of yours,

내가 있어
I am there

저 달이 지고 해가
When the moon sets and the sun 

떠오르면
rises,

나와 함께 했던 넌
will you, who used to be with me,

없을까
no longer be there?

 

내 눈을 감으면
When I close my eyes,

함께했던 시간들이 떠오를 것 같아
it feels like our times together will be brought to my mind

내 눈을 감으면 또
When I close my eyes, again,

행복했던 추억들만 생각날 것 같아
if feels like only the happy memories will come to my mind

 

이 밤이 지나면
When tonight passes,

널 볼 수 없을까봐 두려워
I’m scared that I might not be able to see you

이 밤이 지나면
When tonight passes,

나 홀로 남을까봐 두려워
I’m scared that I might be left all alone

 

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