들꽃놀이 (with 조유진) (Wild Flower with youjeen)

Produced by DOCSKIM
Written by RM, DOCSKIM

Spotify | Apple Music

Through this track, RM expresses his desire and struggle to live like humble, tranquil wildflowers rather than a flame that quickly blows out. RM has mentioned the theme of wildflowers throughout the years. For example, in a 2015 interview (as part of HYYH On Stage Epilogue Program Book), when asked what role he would want to take on if he joined the cast of a young adult movie, he answered, “I’d be fine just being a wildflower bloomed on the side of the street.” In an April 2017 post “들꽃놀이,” the Korean title of “Wild Flower,” he said, “Perhaps in our lives, we need wildflowers [들꽃; pronounced deulkkot]—rather than flames [불꽃; pronounced bulkkot] or cherry blossoms [벚꽃; pronounced beotkkot]—in bloom, tranquilly” after going out to see cherry blossoms with his parents and hearing about his mother’s love for wildflowers that are in bloom tranquilly.

The Korean word for fireworks is 불꽃놀이 (pronounced bulkkotnori), which is a composite word of 불꽃 (pronounced bulkkot; flame) and 놀이 (pronounced nori; play, amusement, or recreation). 불꽃 itself is also a composite word of 불 (pronounced bul; fire) and 꽃 (pronounced kkot; flower), making it the flower of fire. To highlight the rhyme, I’ll stick to the deconstructed version, flower of fire, in my translation. The Korean title of this track “들꽃놀이,” pronounced deulkkotnori, is therefore a wordplay of 불꽃놀이 (pronounced bulkkotnori) with 들꽃 (wildflower, flower of the field) replacing 불꽃 (flower of fire).

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Flower field, that’s where I’m at

Open land, that’s where I’m at

No name, that’s what I have

No shame, I’m on my grave

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두 발이 땅에 닿지 않을 때
When your feet don’t touch the ground

당신의 마음이 당신을 넘볼 때
When your own heart consumes you

꿈이 나를 집어삼킬 때
When your own dreams devour you

내가 내가 아닐 때
When you don’t feel like yourself

그 모든 때
All those times

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불꽃을 나는 동경했었네
I wished to be a flower of fire

그저 화려하게 지고 싶었네
I just wished to have a beautiful fall

시작의 전부터 나 상상했었지
Even before the beginning, I imagined

끝엔 웃으며 박수 쳐 줄 수 있길
that I’d be able to smile and applaud at the end

나 소원했었네
I yearned for it

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믿었던 게 다 멀어지던 때
When all things I believed in drifted away from me

이 모든 명예 [myeongye]가 이젠 멍에 [meonge]가 됐을 때
When all this fame turned into shackles

이 욕심을 제발 거둬가소서
Please, take this greed away from me

어떤 일이 있어도
No matter what it takes

오 나를 나로 하게 하소서
Oh, please let me stay myself

Note: As explained in ON, ~하소서 (please do ~) is a very formally polite style that was traditionally used when addressing a king or a queen and is now used only in historical dramas and religious context as one begs a superior being. 

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Oh every day and every night

Persistin’ pain and criminal mind

내 심장소리에 잠 못 들던 밤
Those nights when the sound of my own beating heart kept me from falling asleep

창밖에 걸린 청승맞은 초승달
The mournful crescent moon hung outside the window

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I do wish me a lovely night

내 분수보다 비대해진 life
My life that has grown larger than what I deserve or can afford

저기 날아오르는 풍선을 애써 쥐고
Struggling to hold on to a balloon that is drifting away,

따져 물어 대체 지금 넌 어디에
I question where it could be that you are now 

Where you go, where’s your soul

Yo where’s your dream?

Note: Intro : Persona (“Oh do you wanna go? Do you wanna fly? Where’s your soul? Where’s your dream?”)

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저 하늘에 흩어질래
Into the sky, I’ll scatter

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

저 하늘에 눈부시게
Into the sky, dazzlingly bright

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

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그 어디까지가 [eodikkajiga] 내 마지막일까 [majimagilkka]
How far would my end be

전부 진저리 나 [na], 하나 열까지 다 [da]
I’m so fed up with it all, from one to ten

이 지긋지긋한 가면은 언제 벗겨질까 [beotgyeojilkka]
When would this mask that I’m sick of come off

Yeah me no hero, me no villain

아무것도 아닌 나 [na]
I who is nothing

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공회전은 반복돼 [banbokdwae] 기억들은 난폭해 [nanpokhae]
My engine keeps idling, my memories turn violent

난 누워 들판 속에 시선을 던져 하늘 위에 [wie]
Lying in a field, I cast my eyes upon the sky

뭘 원했었던 건지 이제 기억이 안 나 [an na]
Now I can’t remember what I had wanted

얻었다 믿었던 모든 행복은 겨우 찰나 [chalna]
All the happiness I thought I earned only lasted a second

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Yeah I been goin’, no matter what’s in front

그게 뭐가 됐건 [dwaetgeon]
No matter what it is

새벽의 옷자락을 붙잡고 뭔가 토해내던 기억 [gieok]
Memories of letting things out, grabbing the edge of dawn by its collar

목소리만 큰 자들의 사회 [sahoe]
The society that is for those with loud voice

난 여전히 침묵을 말해 [malhae]
And I still speak silence

이건 방백 [bangbaek], 완숙한 돛단배 [dotdanbae]
This is an aside, a sailboat that came to full maturity

모든 오해 [ohae] 편견들에 닿게 [datge]
To reach and face all the misunderstanding and prejudice

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반갑지 않아 너의 헹가래 [hengarae]
I don’t enjoy you praising me and throwing me up in the air

내 두 발이 여기 땅 위에 [wie]
My two feet stand on this ground

이름도 없는 꽃들과 함께 [hamkke]
with flowers that don’t even have names

다신 별에 갈 수 없어 I can’t
I can’t go up to the stars again, I can’t

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발밑으로 I just go
Underfoot, I just go

목적 [mokjeok] 없는 목적지로 [mokjeokjiro]
To the purposeless destination

슬픈 줄도 모르고 [moreugo]
Not even knowing my own sadness

그림자마저 친구로 [chinguro]
Making friends with my shadow even

I be gone

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저 하늘에 흩어질래
Into the sky, I’ll scatter

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

저 하늘에 눈부시게
Into the sky, dazzlingly bright

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

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문득 멈춰보니 찬란한 맨발
As I pause suddenly, I find myself gloriously barefoot
Note: This goes back to RM’s old poem titled “Youth” and shared in 2015 (also as part of HYYH On Stage Epilogue Program Book). It goes: “I didn’t know green was green and spring was spring. Time doesn’t know fear and so do I in this place. Though I wandered day and night in search of happiness, you have been beneath my feet all this time. As I lower my head, I’m gloriously barefoot. Ah, ah, isn’t this more beautiful than any pair of flower shoes.”

원래 내 것은 아무것도 없었지
Nothing was mine to begin with anyway

And don’t tell me like you gotta be someone

난 절대 그들처럼 될 수 없으니
because I can never be like them

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(Light a flower)

그래 내 시작은 시
Yeah, my beginning was poetry

여태껏 날 지켜온 단 하나의 힘과 dream
It’s the one and only strength and dream that has kept me going

(Light a flower)

타는 불꽃에서 들꽃으로
From a flaming flower of fire to a flower of the field

소년에서 영원으로
From boyhood to eternity

나 이 황량한 들에 남으리
I shall remain in this desolate field 

아 언젠가 나 되돌아가리
Ah, someday, I shall return

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저 하늘에 흩어질래
Into the sky, I’ll scatter

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

저 하늘에 눈부시게
Into the sky, dazzlingly bright

Light a flower, flowerwork

Flower flowerwork

.

Flower field, that’s where I’m at

Open land, that’s where I’m at

No name, that’s what I have

No shame, I’m on my grave

.

두 발이 땅에 닿지 않을 때
When your feet don’t touch the ground

당신의 마음이 당신을 넘볼 때
When your own heart consumes you

꿈이 나를 집어삼킬 때
When your own dreams devour you

내가 내가 아닐 때
When you don’t feel like yourself

그 모든 때
All those times

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