목소리 (Voice)

 

Produced by Slow Rabbit
Written by RM

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난 꿈이 없었지
I didn’t have a dream

내 가사처럼 맨날 그런 식
It was like that every day just like my lyrics

내게 답을 주지 못했던 함수와 방정식
Functions and equations that couldn’t give me any answer

그것들은 결국 수많은 해가 되었네
They eventually became many harms

그 빛으로 뒤에 숨은 별을 볼 수 없게 해
With that light, they prevent me from seeing the stars hiding behind them
Note on the wordplay used for the previous three lines: 해 (pronounced as hae) could be interpreted in many different ways, and I can think of three interpretations that are most relevant in this context. (1) given that the first line talked about functions and equations, it could be 해 (解), the value of an unknown variable of an equation. (2) It could be 해 (害), which means harm/damage. Lastly, (3) the sun. My interpretation thus is: “Functions and equations couldn’t give me any 해 (解; answer) but only became many 해 (害; harm) to prevent me from seeing the stars hiding behind them with that light of 해 (the sun).”

그렇게 하루하루 날 죽여가며
Killing myself day by day like that,

뜻도 없이 한우 등급 같은 숫자놀음에 종일을 매달려
I occupied myself all day with being graded with meaningless numbers like beef gets graded

난 그저 성공하고 싶었어
I just wanted to succeed

남들에게 지겹게 들었던 말이 그것뿐이어서
because that’s the only thing I was told by others so much that I almost got sick of it

행복이란 신기룬 거기 잡혀있을 줄 알았지
The mirage called happiness- I thought it would be held there

하지만 책상 앞의 난 단 한 순간도 행복하지 않았지
But, sitting at my desk, I was never happy, not for a single moment

어머니 몰래 문제집 사이에 백지를 끼웠네
I secretly hid a blank sheet of paper between the pages of my studybook without my mom’s knowing

드럼 베이스에 맞춰 써 내려가던 나의 정체
My identity that I wrote down along the sound of drums and bass

성적표를 받을 때완 다른 숨 쉬는 느낌
The feeling of breathing that is different from that of receiving grade reports

1등을 해도 내 맘은 늘 편치 못했었지
Even when I was the top of my class, my mind was never at ease

남들이 원하는 걸 꼭 원할 필요 있는가
Is it absolutely necessary to want something that others want?

한평생 한이 담긴 한숨 쉬며 살기보다
Rather than spending my whole life letting out sighs of Han,

한을 떼어내고 그냥 숨을 쉬며 사는 길을 택했어
I chose the path where I take Han out and live by simply breathing
As explained in 마지막 (The Last), 한 (Han) is a mix of sorrow, nostalgia, anger, pain, and hope. It’s the emotional journey and state of mind of someone who has been gravely wronged but is powerless (made powerless) in society to take revenge but decides eventually to cling to the hope of a better future when you overcome your Han. (credit: /u/lagamine86 of r/bangtan). Here, RM is separating 한숨 (sigh; pronounced as hansoom) into 한 (Han) and 숨 (breath). Taking 한 (Han) away from 한숨 (sigh; hansoom), he is left with only 숨 (breath; soom), which lets him live by simply breathing rather than constantly sighing.

다 손가락질했네 얄팍한 나의 주위에선
All the shallow people around me pointed their fingers at me

내 꿈은 나의 목소릴 모두에게 주는 것
My dream is to give my voice to everyone,

내가 어떤 모습일지라도. 내 음악과 가사로
no matter how I look and where I am, with my music and lyrics

이걸 듣고 있는 니가 어떨지 잘 모르지만
I don’t know how you’d feel listening to this,

날 욕해도 좋아 결국 너도 날 또 찾게 될 테니까
but it’s okay even if you curse at me because you’ll eventually look for me again

그래 7년이 지나도 5만원짜리 마이크로
Yeah, though seven years have passed, still with a ₩50,000 mic,

여전히 방 한 켠에서 혼자 만들어낸 믹스테잎
this mixtape that is created by me alone in a corner of my room

Some say I’m fake 그래 인정한다 나의 흑역사
Some say I’m fake, yeah I admit my shameful past
Word-to-word translation of 흑역사 is dark history, which refers to (a certain period in) one’s past that is so shameful that s/he wants to rather forget it.

변명할 수 있지만 안 해 다신 그딴 일 없을 거야
I can make excuses, but I won’t. Such a thing will never happen again

Yeah I be real 이 순간 내가 절실히 바라던 일
Yeah I be real This moment, the thing that I wanted desperately-

7년간 밟아오던 페달에 드디어 기름칠
I’m finally oiling the pedals that I’ve been stepping on for seven years

You can’t kill

Come take it if you do wanna piece of me

오직 음악으로 말해 딴 분야 따윈 일 없지
I only speak through music, I have no interest in anything else

If you really think you ready to fly with my power

This is what R is about, fella the time is now
The above two lines are variations of lyrics from Nas’ One Mic.

 

남몰래 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워
I secretly raise the volume of my voice

알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
so that you can know so that it can reach you

다시 한 번 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워
I again raise the volume of my voice

알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
so that you can know so that it can reach you 

남몰래 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워
I secretly raise the volume of my voice

알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
so that you can know so that it can reach you

다시 한 번 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워
I again raise the volume of my voice

알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
so that you can know so that it can reach you 

 

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